So Holly's face here kind of captures how I feel about summer break this year. Pretty excited if not a bit apprehensive. I was getting tired of the constant shuffle of the school year: homework, cello practice, choir concerts, book fairs, getting up at 7 am and trying rush everyone out the door when we were late. So, in that sense I am relieved that it is summer break.

But, I am also, as always, nervous about having all the kids home with me all day long. I value my free time; perhaps a bit too much.  One thing I have noticed about my kids for sure, is that if there is no structure, we've already lost the game. In other words, I have to have rules, routines, and preplanned fun things for them to do, or we are going to get behind on the housework, and I will be sitting in a home with fighting, disobedient children, simply trying to make them listen. I cannot live like that for the whole summer.

So, we have instituted for the kids age appropriate A.M. and P.M chores, as well as assigned each day of the week a theme. Monday is outing day. I hope to take the kids somewhere fun every Monday. My ideas include: the zoo, Ross park, Brooklyn's Playground, Cherry Springs, Idaho Falls to the Japanese garden and to see the falls, etc.

Tuesday is school day. I have bookmarked different homeschooling websites and those that offer free printables. If YOU homeschool, or know of any good printables for elementary aged kids, let me know! I have to redo Kindergarten at home for Ben over the summer. Bless her heart, his teacher tried, but with the wonky schedule for K here, Ben simply did not progress at the pace I feel he was capable of. So, we'll be working on handwriting, reading, and spelling mainly. Angelice is not real confident about her abilities in math, so at least for the first part of the summer, we'll be working on her multiplication facts. Jake simply needs enriching so he doesn't get bored. I plan on focusing on science since he's interested in it, and American History because the boy is almost 13 and has yet to have that subject taught to him in any challenging or important ways.  He also needs to keep up on his Cello, so as soon as I can afford it, I am planning to buy him a couple of method and theory books he can practice with. Also, I am going to be teaching Holly some basics, like how to hold a pencil, how to identify letters and numbers, as well as teaching her some songs and nursery rhymes.

Wednesday is Art day. I am also combing Pinterest for fun, easy, inexpensive arts and crafts projects to keep my kids busy on Wednesdays.

Thursday is Library day. I checked out the library schedule and there are a few fun things already planned for me to take the kids to, and of course they all love books!

Friday is clean the house day. In addition to their regular morning and evening chores, the kids will be expected to take larger projects on Fridays. I am going to buy some wooden clothes pins, write the weekly chores on them in Sharpie, put them in a hat, and have them choose two pins to accomplish that day. They'll be pinned to a long cardstock name tag, that has a line drawn the middle. When they are done with the chore, they can move the pins from one side to the other.

Saturday is family fun day. Ted gets about two Saturdays off a month, and on that day, the larger trips will be planned, and if there is not a larger trip planned, we can do something fun around home.

Sunday, of course is the Sabbath.

So. My idea is to keep track on the blog by pictures how we do with our summer plans, hopefully, my faithful readers will comment along the way with their own ideas.

Here's to an organized, fun, educational summer!!!

Just a Word...

Okay so I know it's been a long time, and I have probably lost most of ya'll. Sorry about that. The truth is, I have been trying to find ways to distract me from my real life, because right now it's kind of stressful. So I read OTHER people's blogs and avoid my own.

I wanted to take a minute and post today to address some feelings I have been having about my self, my life, my attitude, and my direction. It's all about peace.

I found myself editing down my friends list on Facebook and deleting various social media accounts yesterday out of pure frustration with the negative energy I have been finding all over the internet. If someone isn't "calling someone out", or being sarcastic and caustic, or complaining about their lives or gossiping about celebrities or just plain old being a bully, it just doesn't seem like the internet, right?

I just can't take it in my life anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am often a very jaded and sarcastic person. I relate to my extended family almost exclusively in jabs and jokes. So I am not judging anyone. But after listening to my kids talk to each other like that, arguing, and criticizing each other ALL. DAY. I think I have hit my breaking point.

The older I get the more I crave peace, civility, propriety. I don't want to hear  my kids say how something "sucks", or "bugs the crap" out of them. I don't want to hear your dirty joke. I don't want to be the victim of a sarcastic jab or a critical glare. I don't want my kids to learn to expect the worst, to feel bad about their lives.

I want people to use proper names for their body parts. I want them to express their emotions without using crude or demeaning language. I want to see sensitivity and tact used in the interactions I am witness to and party of.

I want gentler words spoken, I want my girls to be soft and meek, I want my boys to polite and sensitive. I want for myself to be less jaded, less negative, less apt to be critical. I want all these things because I strongly believe the world is about to change. I think we are entering an age of desperate need, despair, hopelessness. I believe the only thing that will bring ME comfort during the times to come are going to be virtues: Patience, kindness, long suffering, hard work, charity, love, temperance, faith, and hope. These virtues are incongruent with the kind of attitude I have been immersing myself in.

It takes hard work to overcome bad habits. It takes dedication to be something that others mock and look down upon. But now, more than ever, these virtues are WORTH it.

Thanks for reading.

I Never Posted About This

We are coming up on a year since Holly came down with a deadly campylobacter infection. If you google it, you will find that it's a pretty common food poisoning bacteria that most people overcome with hardly any problems. Problem is, when you are not quite two, and a little on the small side, and a picky eater to begin with, we might have more than a little problem recovering from such an infection.

It began one night, in the middle of the night, I heard Holly cough, and it woke me up. I sat for a minute, and realized she was throwing up, so I went to check on her. I got her cleaned up, changed her bedding, checked her temperature, and put her back to bed.

Minutes later she threw up again. And again. And again. By now her stomach was empty, and yet she kept retching. I was up with her all night, and lost count at about 18 episodes. She was iin a lot of pain, too, her tummy was just balled up tight and she cried and clutched her stomach over and over. I can't remember if we took her to the ER that night or the next, but at some point, we did. She finished a cup of water and was given a dose of Zofran. I was so grateful that she finally slept.

Two days later, and she was not throwing up, but she started having diarrhea and more stomach pain. Low grade (very low) was starting to set in, and I became worried, having been through a terrible bout with rotovirus with Ben. I took her back to the ER, and made them take a stool sample. She was rehydrated (her bloodwork came back with a small electrolyte imbalance.) Her blood work also shows a liver enzyme imbalance that concerned the doctors. They told me to follow up with our pediatrician about the enzymes, and that they would send her labwork over.

Two days go by, and Holly is still very ill, although not throwing up and not fussy anymore. She still had diarrhea, but the main thing was that she had NO APPETITE. At all. I had gotten in touch with the pediatrician who tells me that her lab work looks fine, and that if she isn't better in a couple more days, bring her in.

The next after noon, I get a phone call from the State Health Department informing me that my daughter's stool sample contained dangerous amounts of campylobacter, and how was her treatment coming along, and also, where did she get this?

I was stunned. I had been told by both the lab at the hospital and by my pediatrician that she was fine. That her labs, all of them, came back normal. When I told her that I had no idea what she was talking about she seemed stunned that I didn't know we were talking about food poisoning here.

I made an appointment with her pediatrician to be seen right away. When we got there, he took one look at her, and decided that she had failure to thrive, without taking into consideration that she had thrown up for 48 hours and had been having diarrhea for going on over a week now. He quizzed me on what she eats. He shamed me for breastfeeding an 18 month old. When I talked to him about the campylobacter, he seemed to think she was fine, and she'd be over the symptoms soon. I told him she'd lost almost 2 lbs. He still just wanted to talk to me about what I was feeding her. As he was walking out, he again, shamed me for breastfeeding a toddler, and told me to keep a log of her food intake for 48 hours and get back to him. I told him, okay, but she hasn't been eating for a week, I think she's still hurting. He practically rolled his eyes at me, saying that campylobacter shouldn't be causing her pain.

As he was walking out the door, I asked "What about the liver enzymes. My family has a history of liver failure, I am worried about that." He looked over her chart, and said "Go to this lab, and have them redraw her blood, we should get the results tomorrow sometime." he tore a sheet off his prescription pad, and wrote down the address.

We got her blood drawn. We took her home. She wouldn't eat. So I nursed her.

The next day, I left the children with Ted to go with my mom and Angel to the Nutcracker. I was so relieved to not be thinking about all this, and to just be having a good time. I was a little worried about Holly's blood work, but since it was late in the evening, I figured everything was fine, and we were in the clear, aside from her eating issues. I was also a little worried that our pediatrician had pigeonholed Holly's case and would soon be referring us to CPS, since I had heard stories of families with failure to thrive being investigated.

We were parking the car outside the theater and deciding where to eat, when my phone rang. It was the pediatrician. He sounded very terse and said that Holly's blood work was back, and that her liver enzymes were highly elevated. He wanted to admit her to Primary Children's Hospital first thing in the morning. I was stunned. I said "The ER doc seemed to think her elevated liver enzymes could be as a result of the body trying to process the bacterial infection. What are we planning to do with her at the hospital?" He told me that he was very worried about her weight, and that she was nothing but skin and bones, and that he wanted to find out if the campylobacter was causing the liver enzyme issue, or if improper nutrition was responsible. I asked him what they were going to do with her there, again. He became agitated and told me he was admitting her for observation, and did I want to decline this advice, because he could certainly dismiss me as a patient. I started to cry, and he softened his tone a bit and said "I am extremely worried about how underweight your daughter is, and I want to get to the bottom of this."

I consented, and the next morning, we took her to Primary Children's Hospital for observation.



The mechanism for raising and lowering the beds had a little red ball on the end. When Holly got tired of being on the bed, I let her wander the room, and every single time, she would be drawn to the red ball...I couldn't figure out what she was doing at first, so I knelt down and listened to her. She was saying "Mommy! Sucker!" and trying to eat it! So cute!

Holly spend a lot of time coloring in the hospital. Look how skinny her legs are!

This picture shows how drawn and ill she looked...she looked like this for a couple weeks. The stethoscope she was wearing was what kept her distracted while she was having her multiple blood draws. She got it done a total of 4 times while we were there. She got to the point where she would cry when a nurse walked in, even just to do her vitals.

In the hospital, once the history was given, and the doctor sent his notes over, the staff seemed to be looking at us like "What on earth are they doing here?" It was obvious that while Holly had been a very sick little girl, she was clearly on the mend, and did not need hospitalization.

They took a totally different tune with regard to breastfeeding an 18 month old. They encouraged me to keep it up, especially since she was not eating very much else. They told me those calories were probably her lifeline those few days where she was still throwing up and very ill. They compared her weight to the World Health Organization's growth charts, and that, combined with her family history told them that she was actually a very well nourished little girl. Her physical exam showed that she was bright, meeting her milestones, was healthy, showed no signs of neglect, and that her appetite was coming back.

And it did. She ate everything they brought to her. They kept her overnight and through the next day to see if she would gain any weight.

She did. And the sent us home. They said her elevated liver enzymes were clearly caused by her illness, and that we should keep following up and getting her blood drawn until the come down. and they did, several weeks later.

Let me tell you, that was one of the most difficult experiences in my life. I was scared to death of the power this pediatrician weilded over my family. Upon following up, he still didn't seem pleased that I was still nursing her, and only wanted to talk about why she could possibly be so small.

We fired him good and quick after that. Let me tell you, you have to be your own best advocate in the health care system.

Holly's doing much better. She recently broke the most anticipated 20 lb mark, and continues to be meet or exceed her developmental milestones. I am one proud Mama!

Random Pictures From This Summer: Photo Bomb!

Gratitude

Much has been happening in our world and suffice it to say a blog post is not going to do it justice. Perhaps someday I will relate all the details, but for now I just want to express my thoughts about my parents.

I don't think as kids we ever really understand the love and devotion our parents have for us, I know I didn't. As we grow up and have our own kids, we come to understand that we will always be our parents' children.

I am so grateful to have parents who know when to just let me be a grown up, and when to step in as a parent. I can't say enough what it means to me to have their support, love, wisdom, guidance, and home to come home to. I don't know where we would be right now if it weren't for them.

So, hey Mom and Dad. I love you guys. Thanks for everything you have done and I am sure will continue to do for us.

Getting Organized

I have been home with my kiddos for so long, that I have sort of forgotten what it is like to have some kind of semblence of scheduling. I get up when I want. We eat when everyone's hungry. We go and do on our own time and in various different directions. As our life is about to change, and I am job hunting, and soon to be doing the working mom thing, I hate to say it but: It's time I got down to business and started really scheduling our lives.

Summer time is a good place to start doing this, because we won't have our three older kids going in six different directions due to school activities.

So, dear readers, I invite you to comment on my blog/facebook, and give me some suggestions for having a scheduled, yet not rigid life. I need to schedule chores, cleaning, summer fun, and hopefully, some learning this summer. I need to get out of the house, I need to do more this summer than sitting around watching the kids get into trouble.

HELP!

I Love You, Mom, The Goldest

I LOVE YOU, MOM, THE GOLDEST

I love you Mom, the goldest. I love you the color of shiny earrings on Sunday morning.

Dull gold in a pan. A gold, bright setting sun.
I love you the color of sweet cornbread on a plate, writing on a book spine.

Daffodils growing the spring. The sweet, cool honeysuckle in Nampa.

The depths of the core of the earth. The shiny electronics on the computer that brings you your blogs.

I love you, Mom, the goldest.

---With love, Jacob McPherson

I have to admit, this Mother's Day was probably one of the best I have ever had. My wonderful husband surprised me with a camera, since mine broke, and he knows how I love to gather memories from out life together, and the children's childhoods. Then, Jacob presented me with this wonderful poem he wrote in school. It is based on a children's book, but the imagery is all his.

Angelice gave me the sweetest little chore list, and her obvious appreciation for me was tangible. I held her for the longest time on my lap yesterday, which is kind of hard to do since she's almost as tall as I am now.

Ben, oh, Ben. Couldn't stop telling me how he learned to say "MoTHer's Day" He has trouble with the soft t-h sound still, and we are gently trying to encourage him to fix it. He'd say "Happy Mudder's....I mean MoTHer's Day!" all day yesterday. he drew me a flower, and then cut it out, signed his name on the back, and proclaimed it a bookmark.

Holly. Sweet Holly. She's actually such a stinker. But she smothered me in kisses and snuggled close to me when I put her to bed. She smelled like cheesecake and baby soap.

I love these little beings...these frustrating, loud little human beings who came from my body. My life, my everything.... I complain too much. I know they won't be little forever. I cherish every milestone, and revel in every tiny accomplishment. I am so glad to be their mother.

My mother taught me everything I know about loving these little monkeys. I cannot fathom what it must be like to have your children scattered to the four winds like dandelion fluff on the wind. I see why she jumps every time that skype call comes in. Her precious firstborn, and all he has accomplished...those beautiful children, living so far away. Her second, and her only girl, getting ready to leave her again... Her third child who she worries for and loved to snuggle as a baby, so far away...and doing so well. She is so proud of him, and is so happy that he has found the love of his life, and that she takes such good care of him and their beautiful chilren. Her baby, who she watched struggle, who she has come to admire for his strength and persistence...she watches him as he and his little family spread their wings, and prays daily that their dreams come true.

I can see in her eyes the way I feel about my own. I never would have understood the sorrow, the pain, the worry, the constant love that abides in my mother had I not had my own children. I understand now, the conflicting instincts to let go, and watch them fly; and to grasp and hold on with all your might at the same time.

We are connected now, in ways we never were before. I love you, my mother. Happy Mother's Day.